maybe my friendship methods haven't always been the best, but i have always always tried to stand up for people who i really believed would stand up for me. i think that this has kicked me in the teeth for the last time. while it's sad and terrible to push away a friend through selfishness and lack of caring, i think it's also important to recognize when you have to say goodbye to some friends because of their selfishness (and lack of caring). it just gets to that point. sometimes, the last button is pushed. and with what i had just wrote so fresh in my mind about trying to hold people close, it makes it even harder to realize that i had to do it this time. it's so hard to break up with a friend... it really is.
a friendship is just a relationship on a platonic level... it carries with it all the wonders and pitfalls of 'dating' someone. there has to be give and take or it just becomes a mess. i don't know what hurts worse... not only was i betrayed by someone i trusted, but then i had to go and completely give up on someone all in the same day. for my wellbeing and theirs, we just couldn't be friends anymore. i hate giving up on people. i'm sort of the cheerer of the underdog, and i like to be friends to people who actually need them.
anyways, i guess this all boils down to frienships being a lot more complicated then just choosing to stay in touch or not. maybe sometimes friends have a right to be critical because they are trying to save something that they think is important. it could be their friends integrity, their own sanity, or maybe the friendship itself.
