on a totally separate note... i used to think that people who were scared to be alone were just being too needy, but after having a whole big apartment to myself for a couple of days, i begin to see where they are coming from. when you get so bored you are talking to yourself it is bad. when you start discussing tv shows and movies with your dog it's even worse because they just look at you like they have no fuckin idea what you are talking about. but the lowest is talking to your cat... you know they are pretty sharp and they just sit and give you this look like why do you think i care you stupid person... i'm a cat. i'm a little stir crazy so i just had to get out of the house finally so i just went out and drove all over the place wasting gas and picking up all the things i've left lying around atlanta the last couple of days...
the other thing about being alone is that the time goes soooooo freakin slow... i would swear up and down that it's been a week since huey left but it's only been three days... i am so needy... it's disgusting. it also makes me realize that my list of friends to call up and hang out with is ridiculously short and i might need to stop being such a standoffish bitch all the time... it's just depressing.
*blog*
posted by megs at 02:11
12.28.2003
So it's almost another new year's and we all know what that means... party!! it's all i've been doing for the last 3 weeks but hey, everyone needs a nice, long break once in awhile... the other big thing for the new year.... resolutions. so i've been thinking about this and trying to decide what mine should be... it's very difficult and not because i'm so perfect or anything but because i don't want them to be ordinary things ie. drink less, smoke less... all those nonsense things that you shouldn't wait for a new year to decide to do... besides, i want it to actually mean something...
so i'm making a list of sorts here to give me some things to think about... kind of like brainstorming... here goes:
1) to not let people's perception of who i am or how i am get in the way of what i want to become...
2) to step up and fight the battles that need to be fought instead of just taking it all the time...
3) to try to say what i mean and mean what i say instead of ignoring issues and pretending everything is fine...
4) to take control of my life and stop blaming everyone else for my problems and my mistakes...
5) to take more chances and not be scared of failing or being told no...
6) to tell people what i really feel instead of just what they want to hear...
7) to go after the things i want instead of just sitting there waiting for them to come to me...
8) to regret less and daydream more...
9) to understand that not everyone will like me for who i am while remembering the whole world isn't against me...
10) to stop being mean to people i care about because, frankly, they don't deserve and i don't really mean it anyways...
i think that's it... wow, i guess i'm a lot farther from perfect than i thought ;o) well, if anyone else has any suggestions, i welcome them on the tag board... it seems like i have a lot to choose from already.
*blog*
posted by megs at 15:39
12.26.2003
christmas is so much fun... how can anyone disagree with a holiday where a grown woman (that's me) can get huge foam green hulk hands for christmas to run around and beat her family and it is perfectly normal? i mean it doesn't get any better! this actually was one of my favorite christmas', save one thing... huey had to leave on christmas day :o( but we did have a lovely christmas before that. it's fun having a tree at our apt. and opening all our own presents before we go do family things... we even posed with the puppy in front of the tree... we are so cute and functional it's sickening... no really, it is.
oh well, playing house is fun. i like it just how it is... so why does everyone keep asking when are you guys gettin married?... it's maddening.. my mother even went so far as to ask me if there would be any big "presents" this christmas because all the family would be together for the first time in years so it would be opportune... honestly, i wish she'd just mind her own business. i don't see the big deal anyways. marriage is a loverly thing i'm sure and something i'll want to do someday, but i'm only 24 and i really don't think there is any reason to go jumping the gun. there is plenty of life left to live and there is no need to try to squeeze myself into some predetermined schedule that everyone has regarding dating and marriage. there is no limit as to how long i can keep this playing house up so everyone just needs to back off and let me figure things out on my own.
i mean it really is entirely inappropriate to go around asking people about things like that... noone comes up to you and says, so... when are you two going to break up... i mean really... it all falls under the category of NONE OF YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS... this seems to be something that married people just can't help but ask you at every available opportunity... it's like they are part of some club and are trying to woo you into it... i think they are secretly thinking dammit why did i do this, i'm too young, let's trick this poor schmuck friend of mine into doing the same thing so we can be miserable together... jerks. i'm not falling for it because i'm too smart for you smug marrieds...
just too freakin smart...
oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!! (even the smug marrieds)
*blog*
posted by megs at 17:32
12.24.2003
mmmmm... alcohol... capt. morgan... even better. doesn't everyone have one of those friends who is just an awful drunk? they drink and suddenly it's all me, me, me and they go quickly from a pretty cool, laid back person to a raving lunatic bitch... well, that's me when i drink. it's awful... what makes the whole thing worse is that i know it but i do it anyways...
ok, so maybe i step on a few toes now and again... i say what's on my mind, even if it's some drunken drivel that is pouring out of my brain faster than i can process. and sometimes i run out of things to say and just stare... well... drunkenly, with this blank look on my face. but you know what? for every dumb thing i've done when i'm drunk (and i'm talking kick yourself in the nuts, i can't believe i'm such a retard, idiot drunken mistakes) i've had a ton of fun doing about a million other things. so i get meaner when i drink... i'm also a lot nicer. and i tend to really nag on people a lot... but i'm also more forgiving. i walk this fine line between being the happy go lucky fun drunk everyone dreams they are and the wicked walking asshole everyone just hopes they aren't... i'm a walking oxymoron and frankly, i like me this way.
drinking with me is an adventure... you just never know what you are going to get. everything gets topsy turvey and suddenly it's backwards day... you don't know what the hell i just said and when it comes down to it.... it doesn't really matter... you don't know whether to hug me or just wack me on the forehead...
i wouldn't have it any other way...
cheers
*blog*
posted by megs at 03:53
12.22.2003
"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."
-James Baldwin
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."
-David Grayson
"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
-Victor Hugo
"Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are."
-Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve
"I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it."
-Kyle Schmidt
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
-Mother Theresa
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
-James Baldwin
a lot of people have said a lot of things about L-O-V-E... i just happened to pick these quotes b/c they appealed to me personally... so why do i have this on my mind tonite? well, a friend of mine just split with someone after being with them for two years... which may not seem like a lot but really at this age it is... it's like an eternity. it got me to thinking... who have i loved (or thought i loved) and what do those people mean to me now? at one point i thought one of the most painful things was having someone you love look you in the eye and tell you they don't love you. if you know anything about me (which you probably don't) you'd know how much i hate to be vulnerable... i try very, very hard to keep people from being able to say these types of things to me and hurting me because dammit, it was just too much to deal with the first time...
so then i grew up a little bit and thought i had it all figured out... until the next whammy came along... even worse. it's bad enough if someone doesn't love you, but then they use that horrible, ugly word... they've already ripped apart your present and near future and now they are going to rip apart your past... R-E-G-R-E-T. now that really hurts... it's the kind of thing you can't prepare for... saying you wish you could take it all back... it's like saying it was all a lie... you lose something so important and it leaves a hole in you, but you think to yourself, better to have loved and lost, right? not in this case... that ruins the whole 'it was fun while it lasted' routine because obviously it wasn't... it makes you feel completely worthless...
anyways, so back to my friend... i think this person will be better off... of course i'm saying this from the other side of the tracks. i have someone who loves me... and it is hard to sit here and tell someone else that everything is going to be alright and it is all for the best because we all know what bullshit that is... it isn't for the best... it's the worst right now and it makes you feel like shit even if you know it's right because it isn't the easy thing to do and it doesn't make you feel safe/happy/protected or anything good at all... so what can you do? how do you help someone in this situation? you think you know it all but when you look at their face and realize how much it hurts... it leaves you feeling a little empty too... it's very sad.
so you do the best you can do... you grab a bottle of sprite and a bottle of skyy and send them home to their bed to recooperate... you hope tomorrow will be better for them but know that it won't... you realize that you can't make anyone feel better just by saying it should be so... and you realize how lucky you are to have people that love you...
*blog*
posted by megs at 22:39
12.18.2003
mmmm... so now i've finally had time to actually digest the insaneness that was the christmas party weekend... it's actually become a weekend now. so many people come in from out of town that it isn't just a night anymore... it's become something... bigger... in a way... it's not just another party, that's for sure...
so anyways, funniest thing that happened was that i was late to my own party. i swear i am never on time for anything... i know this is some people's biggest pet peeve in the world, but thank god everyone knows this is just part of who i am. i think it is safe (and i wouldn't be offended) if people just started telling me things started an hour earlier then they actually do...
also, the drinking was out of control this weekend. vodka, whiskey, champagne, beer, tequila, rum and jaeger... and not in any particular order... am i leaving anything out? probably... but what a wicked mix it made. alcohol can sometimes bring out the best in people... that usually isn't me but i think i handled it very well specially considering how long it has been. i managed not to throw any fits of any kind and stay pretty sane (which is saying a lot)...
Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person --Dr. David M. Burns-- this just may be true and let me tell you why...
there is one thing that i realized this weekend that wasn't really directly party related, but maybe indirectly... i've always known that i have extreme avoidance issues... it's not that i don't like confrontation, i just like it on my own terms. and those usually have a lot to do with it not being anything serious... i like to argue for the sake of arguing and not actually deal with any real issues... sometimes i'm afraid of things being too real or too close because it breaks down whatever walls i have so carefully constructed to keep myself safe from, well, everything i guess... maybe that's just part of what makes me so able to smile. the bigger you smile the less you can talk, or cry... besides you look dumb just staring ahead blankly when someone expects something out of you... smile and maybe they think the joke is on them...
anyways, so its no big surprise that i avoid things... i just had this very interesting metaphor of sorts pop into my head that put it into perspective... it's like when your playing the head squishing game with your fingers... you get far enough away from someone and you can squish their heads... it's fun... you are a badass with thumbs so big you can just stick one up and *squish* no more problem... i kind of do that with everything... things get too close or too real and i realize that i can't deal, so i push them away and just give a thumbs up of sorts... smile really big and just block it all out... i've spent the better part of my life either pushing away or running away from everything... get far enough away and it just disappears... avoidance... it's like a drug you become so dependent on because sometimes it just seems easier then dealing... i tried to do that this weekend with something that was really big... keeping things at arms reach... but luckily i have someone who cares enough to not give up and forced me to face how things are and you know what? it worked out... i had to be honest with myself, which is really scary, but i realized that the things that are important have to be dealt with up close and personal... believe it or not, it actually worked out for the best... things are better then ever now but don't think i'm hanging up my thumbs yet... i'm sure they'll pop up again sooner or later...
anyways, it makes a lot of sense to me, plus it appeals to my grover-loving nature and his adorable near and far skit... grover is so cute...
on a final note, huey just opened his bday present... he's 26 as of 45 minutes ago... i got him an 8-in-1 kameleon remote... he'd seen it on techTV many moons ago and kept making me watch the shows so he could show it to me... when it came time to shop around it was one of the first things that popped into my head b/c i knew he would never in a million billion years expect me to get it for him b/c gadgets are his arena and i try not to get too involved in case i mess up... when he opened the box... the look on his face... priceless... i'll see if i can get a picture up here... it's like watching a kid on christmas... face lit right up... i can't wait til christmas... :o)
*blog*
posted by megs at 00:46
12.15.2003
wow... party weekend... can you say longest weekend ever... but in every good way, and none of the bad ways. i can't believe life has to go on as normal now... or that i only have one day off between now and christmas... fuck me. when am i going to get my christmas shopping done?
ok, i just don't have it in me tonite... i am literally drained... physically, mentally, emotionally.... too big for three days, that's for sure. i'm goin to bed..........
*blog*
posted by megs at 01:21
12.11.2003
oooh... two more days to the christmas party... i'm getting so excited. between this and putting up the decorations at work and at home, i think i'm finally getting into that christmas groove... where you have love and goodwill towards all mankind... well, maybe not all mankind...
i was at a gas station this morning about a mile from where i work (not the best neighborhood) and this woman comes up and knocks on my window while i'm sitting in the car... so i crack the window and she starts telling me about how she lost her mother at the hospital and she needs gas money to get back there... i was totally confused so i asked her you lost your mother? apparently she was trying to say her mother had died or something at the hospital, so my next question was rather obvious i thought... so why did she leave the hospital right when this had happened? and where was her family or friends? either way, she got pissy after that and huffed off because i said i wouldn't give her money... not that i didn't have any but i just wouldn't give it to her... i've seen the tv programs about the beggers on the street who are just fancy con-artists, begging money by day and driving their mercedes to their condos at night... no thank you... i work my ass off for what i have...
so, despite the damper this woman put on my holiday mood, i still think i did the right thing... toys for tots, or the giving tree at church is the right way to spread a little christmas cheer... not succumbing to same poorly thought out con in downtown...
yes, yes yes!!! christmas party in two days... i'm so cited...
*blog*
posted by megs at 16:35
12.09.2003
oh holy hell.. i have the worst car trouble the last two weeks... its insane. you take a car in for a routine maintenance procedure and the next thing you know they've fucked something up...
i don't know much about cars but i know that when it says in the manual and there's a big fuckin sticker under the hood that says "use dexcool coolant only" that it is probably a good idea to stick with the orange stuff... but of course the asshats at precision tune can't read so they just put in the regulat old green stuff... they practically had to move the sticker to get to the tank to pour in the other antifreeze. of course they told us they were trying to help us b/c dexcool is more expensive, causes problems, etc. etc. like we didn't know any of this stuff... really they just don't keep dexcool stocked and knew we'd take it elsewhere if we gave them the option... i hate them
anyways, so i have broken down four times in the past two weeks... two on the same day though so maybe those don't count... so three separate times in the past two weeks i've been stranded on the side of the highway. and this last time was at midnight when it was below freezing and my cellphone was dead and right after i'd spent all day outside watching a friend replace my water pump and thermostat for me to save me from the stupidity and overpricing of idiot mechanics... so i was just drivin down the road and all of a sudden the battery light came on... then i blink and it overheated in about 3 seconds.. just shot up... so i swerve in front of a huge semi to get to the side and realize my power steering is out... i'm glancing behind me sure that something had just fallen off my car becasue we'd forgotten some screw or other part... shit shit shit...
so yeah, cold, alone, dead cellphone, no fuckin clue, and scared of being kidnapped/raped/shot/stabbed/poisoned/robbed and i don't want to get out of the car i just want it to cool down so i can actually open my door and get out and look around without my door or random appendage being taken off by the semis speeding by at 80 mph five feet away... i just wanted to cry...
but i'm a strong independant woman who watched three guys work on my car all day long and i couldn't crumble... i did the only thing i could do... grabbed a hat from the back, shoved all my hair under it so i didn't look so girly and waited til noone was comin to get around to the front and look under the hood... couldn't see shit so i figured i'd just put more coolant in... was shakin so bad (scared and freezing) that i spilled, but got lots in.... waited another min thinking someone heard my silent plea and just knew i'd broken down and were comin to save me, then got goin again... got ten feet and was thinkin, alright... then it did the same thing all over again... so i floored it to the exit 200 yards away and just prayed...
thankfully no cars were coming so i was able to actually shoot right off the exit and diagonally across the road without any of that silly turn signal, lane or actual turning crap... under the lights of the gas station i took one look and could see the big belt (which i learned yesterday is the serpentine belt) was definately not lookin like it did when i left so there was the problem... and i was stuck. after huey and jay got over to help me we all just sat there and kinda stared going, man, this sucks... we were about to call one of those 24hour mobile mechanics when this guy just shows up and is all like having trouble? oh, serpentine belt... yeah, i can put that on for you and wham bam (okay, an hour later) with us all pushin and pulling and using a tiny ass flashlight we got it back on and were on our way. the guy asked for $20 so he could call a ride home because he was stuck there so i gave him $40... i'd never been happier to give anyone money in my life...
so anyways, hopefully after all of this the car is mostly fixed... with party comin up this weekend and all the driving i'm kinda scared... i don't want it breakin down on me anytime this week on the way to work or anything but i also need to test it... i guess i'll do that thursday and just marta it tomorrow... i'm just not ready for anymore standin on the road yet... i need at least 48 hours for my windburned face to recooperate... damn.
*blog*
posted by megs at 23:57
12.07.2003
wow, so today is my puppies 1 year anniversary... it's very exciting... i guess it is kind of like her birthday since we don't know when she was actually born and we got her on the 7th of december so that is what is important to us and we labeled it her "birthday"... she's so cute...
so yeah, actually i'm still thinkin on saturday time and man has it been a long day. today was the megan gets up early to go shopping for crazy christmas party stuff while huey sits at home and does "work" whatever that means... so i ran around all morning along with about everyone else in atlanta and the list that never ends getting groceries and whatnot. i could understand if it was like, two days before christmas or we were expecting a blizzard or something but it's just early december and for some reason today was everyone's day to go shopping for the rest of winter or something... lines were ridiculous and the amount of food these people eat is ridiculous... when you pay more attention to what you are eating then it becomes insane to see what normal people eat... because you realize you used to eat that and you're just sitting there screaming HEARTATTACK to yourself... its very eye opening...
so anyways, the fun part of today was the christmas tree hunting... i think it was fun... i'm going to tell myself it was fun because its a great tradition when you really think about it. you go out to the middle of nowhere (they call it canton, ga down here) and you hop in the back of a hay wagon pulled by what looks like one of those mini kids tractors that run off 8 D batteries and you putter around through the woods for 15 min while its freezing cold... then they just drop you off with a saw and putter back while you wander around realizing that all of the really good trees were probably taken last year and you are just pickin through the rejects in the same field you were in last year... so you finally find one, that perfect one, walk about 30 laps around it then chop it down with the same crappy rusty saw they probably stuck you with the year before... but its a proven fact that when standing in the middle of a field in the woods for about 30 min in the freezing cold, anything looks good... got it home and it was leaning worse than pisa... we finally said fuck it and just stuck boards under one side of the tree stand to make it look straight... then duck taped the whole thing to a board underneath to make sure it wouldn't tip on us... after a few thousand strands of lights which i'm sure will start some sort of electrical fire b/c it seems the power bar gnomes have stolen all our power bars again and we had to plug everything into one plug... and then some really old, 70's lookin ornaments that we inherited from family to mix with the few pretty ones we could actually afford... the whole thing does look pretty damn nice...
wow, what a tradition... really gets ya in the christmas spirit :o)
*blog*
posted by megs at 01:04
12.04.2003
so huey had this interview the other day... huge deal right? he got all dressed up in a tie which is huge for him and went down there and i'm sure just blew the socks off the people at pga... and so i go to work today and shlump around and realize that another month has gone by with no commission because my CFO is out to get me and i get left at work by myself again to close everything down b/c my boss is off busy getting divorced and starting this new life and i realize that i'm just waitin around for her to quit so i can have her job and actually be able to afford rent and for my CFO to either die or freakin retire because he's like 80 and creepy and doesn't have a fuckin clue while i realize that i'm doing my job, my boss' job, part of his job and cleaning up after all the people who should be doing their own jobs but are too busy playing office politics...
so i think to myself... maybe i should get a new job. where should i look? what am i even good at? if my dream job were to walk up and punch me in the face today i'd probably look for an icepack instead of jumping for joy. i don't even have a dream job really... there is nothing that i can possibly imagine myself doing for any length of time because i get bored with everything and need to be challenged... shlumping just isn't me and i've fallen into a shlump rut. i need something fun, exciting... not behind a desk or smiling fake for people who couldn't care less because it just doesn't make me happy... i know this but that's it... i get stuck right there. i think i must be a bit of a pessimist because sometimes i can't look past how much this sucks to figure out what i need to do to change it....
maybe though... just maybe. there are so many things i want to do... i have so many lil projects going on inside my head. what gets in the way of all these things is work... i start a project and always have to put it aside to work... its all about money. can't go to school-got no money. have to work. can't go to school-have to keep workin to pay the bills. its a vicious cycle... of course i could just make more money... wow, i'm such a freakin genius... why didn't i think of that before?!?!
maybe i should be looking at job listings instead of writing on here... much better idea.
*blog*
posted by megs at 22:57
12.03.2003
ok, so maybe it's been awhile. a long while actually, thanx to angel who pointed this out for me over there on the left. maybe it is just that i haven't really had anything interesting going on... or maybe i have and just don't feel like sharing. actually i did laugh so hard the other day i almost peed my pants... i went out shopping for that ridiculously early 6am shopping the day after thanksgiving... huey and i were standing there freezin our asses off in the misty rain after staying up all night so we wouldn't miss it waitin with a bunch of other crazies to run into a store and just go mad... and we did go mad. spent way too much money... but that isn't what made me laugh so hard.
huey was so pumped... i could just see him gettin all worked up in his head. apparently something he had seen or read somewhere (maybe the influence of that awful arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad movie where they fight over the toy, Jingle all the Way) but i think he was expecting an all out brawl over something. he already had his back off it bitch look on his face and a mean glint in his eye... but apart from the initial (but disappointingly orderly) dash into the store the closest he got to any elbowing action was at the game rack but that was less frantic greediness as it was just too small for everyone to stand in front of at once... otherwise we just zipped around and got everything we wanted without any bitch-slapping at all... he was sorely disappointed... but that isn't even what made me laugh so hard...
it was later on that morning when i was drivin to work half asleep from being up all night to go shopping and listening to some morning show or another and heard the news report of the woman who was trampled at a walmart down in florida in a mad rush for $30 dvd players... it is totally messed up because she actually got one apparently and was knocked down, so she threw her body over the player and was trampled in all the confusion... i said she threw her body over the dvd player... instead of rolling for safety... to me this was utterly insane and completely worthy of a hearty, knock your breath away, crying like an idiot laugh... i just couldn't help myself...
okay, so now that looks like i'm insensitive... but i'm not... i just find extreme stupidity amusing... and don't act like you don't. it's the only way bob saget has been able to continue his career through america's funniest home videos instead of being stoned alive like the talentless buffoon deserves... but i guess part of it was also that i hadn't had more than four winks of sleep in two days... that can make you a lil bit crazy sometimes...
and speaking of crazy, i think i'm losing my hearing. my sister called me up the other day to tell me a disgusting story about taking my dad to the doctor to get his ears cleaned out... i won't go into details but it involved a plunger-squirty thing and loads of chunky earwax... yuck. but my dad swore he could hear better... hell, he even knew who i was on the phone (well, he called me angel, but at least he didn't call me colin or brad) so i'm convinced this must work... i need one of these done... i feel like i have cotton stuck in my ears half the time and am always mishearing things, making me look dumb which i'd like to pretend i am not... i'll really have to look into this... i think i'm onto something...
So it's almost another new year's and we all know what that means... party!! it's all i've been doing for the last 3 weeks but hey, everyone needs a nice, long break once in awhile... the other big thing for the new year.... resolutions. so i've been thinking about this and trying to decide what mine should be... it's very difficult and not because i'm so perfect or anything but because i don't want them to be ordinary things ie. drink less, smoke less... all those nonsense things that you shouldn't wait for a new year to decide to do... besides, i want it to actually mean something...
mmmmm... alcohol... capt. morgan... even better. doesn't everyone have one of those friends who is just an awful drunk? they drink and suddenly it's all me, me, me and they go quickly from a pretty cool, laid back person to a raving lunatic bitch... well, that's me when i drink. it's awful... what makes the whole thing worse is that i know it but i do it anyways...
oh holy hell.. i have the worst car trouble the last two weeks... its insane. you take a car in for a routine maintenance procedure and the next thing you know they've fucked something up...
so anyways, the fun part of today was the christmas tree hunting... i think it was fun... i'm going to tell myself it was fun because its a great tradition when you really think about it. you go out to the middle of nowhere (they call it canton, ga down here) and you hop in the back of a hay wagon pulled by what looks like one of those mini kids tractors that run off 8 D batteries and you putter around through the woods for 15 min while its freezing cold... then they just drop you off with a saw and putter back while you wander around realizing that all of the really good trees were probably taken last year and you are just pickin through the rejects in the same field you were in last year... so you finally find one, that perfect one, walk about 30 laps around it then chop it down with the same crappy rusty saw they probably stuck you with the year before... but its a proven fact that when standing in the middle of a field in the woods for about 30 min in the freezing cold, anything looks good... got it home and it was leaning worse than pisa... we finally said fuck it and just stuck boards under one side of the tree stand to make it look straight... then duck taped the whole thing to a board underneath to make sure it wouldn't tip on us... after a few thousand strands of lights which i'm sure will start some sort of electrical fire b/c it seems the power bar gnomes have stolen all our power bars again and we had to plug everything into one plug... and then some really old, 70's lookin ornaments that we inherited from family to mix with the few pretty ones we could actually afford... the whole thing does look pretty damn nice...