"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."
-James Baldwin
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."
-David Grayson
"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
-Victor Hugo
"Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are."
-Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve
"I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it."
-Kyle Schmidt
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
-Mother Theresa
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
-James Baldwin
a lot of people have said a lot of things about L-O-V-E... i just happened to pick these quotes b/c they appealed to me personally... so why do i have this on my mind tonite? well, a friend of mine just split with someone after being with them for two years... which may not seem like a lot but really at this age it is... it's like an eternity. it got me to thinking... who have i loved (or thought i loved) and what do those people mean to me now? at one point i thought one of the most painful things was having someone you love look you in the eye and tell you they don't love you. if you know anything about me (which you probably don't) you'd know how much i hate to be vulnerable... i try very, very hard to keep people from being able to say these types of things to me and hurting me because dammit, it was just too much to deal with the first time...
so then i grew up a little bit and thought i had it all figured out... until the next whammy came along... even worse. it's bad enough if someone doesn't love you, but then they use that horrible, ugly word... they've already ripped apart your present and near future and now they are going to rip apart your past... R-E-G-R-E-T. now that really hurts... it's the kind of thing you can't prepare for... saying you wish you could take it all back... it's like saying it was all a lie... you lose something so important and it leaves a hole in you, but you think to yourself, better to have loved and lost, right? not in this case... that ruins the whole 'it was fun while it lasted' routine because obviously it wasn't... it makes you feel completely worthless...
anyways, so back to my friend... i think this person will be better off... of course i'm saying this from the other side of the tracks. i have someone who loves me... and it is hard to sit here and tell someone else that everything is going to be alright and it is all for the best because we all know what bullshit that is... it isn't for the best... it's the worst right now and it makes you feel like shit even if you know it's right because it isn't the easy thing to do and it doesn't make you feel safe/happy/protected or anything good at all... so what can you do? how do you help someone in this situation? you think you know it all but when you look at their face and realize how much it hurts... it leaves you feeling a little empty too... it's very sad.
so you do the best you can do... you grab a bottle of sprite and a bottle of skyy and send them home to their bed to recooperate... you hope tomorrow will be better for them but know that it won't... you realize that you can't make anyone feel better just by saying it should be so... and you realize how lucky you are to have people that love you...
