ok, so maybe it's been awhile. a long while actually, thanx to angel who pointed this out for me over there on the left. maybe it is just that i haven't really had anything interesting going on... or maybe i have and just don't feel like sharing. actually i did laugh so hard the other day i almost peed my pants... i went out shopping for that ridiculously early 6am shopping the day after thanksgiving... huey and i were standing there freezin our asses off in the misty rain after staying up all night so we wouldn't miss it waitin with a bunch of other crazies to run into a store and just go mad... and we did go mad. spent way too much money... but that isn't what made me laugh so hard.
huey was so pumped... i could just see him gettin all worked up in his head. apparently something he had seen or read somewhere (maybe the influence of that awful arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad movie where they fight over the toy, Jingle all the Way) but i think he was expecting an all out brawl over something. he already had his back off it bitch look on his face and a mean glint in his eye... but apart from the initial (but disappointingly orderly) dash into the store the closest he got to any elbowing action was at the game rack but that was less frantic greediness as it was just too small for everyone to stand in front of at once... otherwise we just zipped around and got everything we wanted without any bitch-slapping at all... he was sorely disappointed... but that isn't even what made me laugh so hard...
it was later on that morning when i was drivin to work half asleep from being up all night to go shopping and listening to some morning show or another and heard the news report of the woman who was trampled at a walmart down in florida in a mad rush for $30 dvd players... it is totally messed up because she actually got one apparently and was knocked down, so she threw her body over the player and was trampled in all the confusion... i said she threw her body over the dvd player... instead of rolling for safety... to me this was utterly insane and completely worthy of a hearty, knock your breath away, crying like an idiot laugh... i just couldn't help myself...
okay, so now that looks like i'm insensitive... but i'm not... i just find extreme stupidity amusing... and don't act like you don't. it's the only way bob saget has been able to continue his career through america's funniest home videos instead of being stoned alive like the talentless buffoon deserves... but i guess part of it was also that i hadn't had more than four winks of sleep in two days... that can make you a lil bit crazy sometimes...
and speaking of crazy, i think i'm losing my hearing. my sister called me up the other day to tell me a disgusting story about taking my dad to the doctor to get his ears cleaned out... i won't go into details but it involved a plunger-squirty thing and loads of chunky earwax... yuck. but my dad swore he could hear better... hell, he even knew who i was on the phone (well, he called me angel, but at least he didn't call me colin or brad) so i'm convinced this must work... i need one of these done... i feel like i have cotton stuck in my ears half the time and am always mishearing things, making me look dumb which i'd like to pretend i am not... i'll really have to look into this... i think i'm onto something...
