so huey had this interview the other day... huge deal right? he got all dressed up in a tie which is huge for him and went down there and i'm sure just blew the socks off the people at pga... and so i go to work today and shlump around and realize that another month has gone by with no commission because my CFO is out to get me and i get left at work by myself again to close everything down b/c my boss is off busy getting divorced and starting this new life and i realize that i'm just waitin around for her to quit so i can have her job and actually be able to afford rent and for my CFO to either die or freakin retire because he's like 80 and creepy and doesn't have a fuckin clue while i realize that i'm doing my job, my boss' job, part of his job and cleaning up after all the people who should be doing their own jobs but are too busy playing office politics...
so i think to myself... maybe i should get a new job. where should i look? what am i even good at? if my dream job were to walk up and punch me in the face today i'd probably look for an icepack instead of jumping for joy. i don't even have a dream job really... there is nothing that i can possibly imagine myself doing for any length of time because i get bored with everything and need to be challenged... shlumping just isn't me and i've fallen into a shlump rut. i need something fun, exciting... not behind a desk or smiling fake for people who couldn't care less because it just doesn't make me happy... i know this but that's it... i get stuck right there. i think i must be a bit of a pessimist because sometimes i can't look past how much this sucks to figure out what i need to do to change it....
maybe though... just maybe. there are so many things i want to do... i have so many lil projects going on inside my head. what gets in the way of all these things is work... i start a project and always have to put it aside to work... its all about money. can't go to school-got no money. have to work. can't go to school-have to keep workin to pay the bills. its a vicious cycle... of course i could just make more money... wow, i'm such a freakin genius... why didn't i think of that before?!?!
maybe i should be looking at job listings instead of writing on here... much better idea.
