yeah... so i once had this really interesting conversation with someone... talking about past and present... this is kinda how it turned out....
if you met your high school self you would laugh at yourself myself then or now? your old self would laugh at your new self
but politely
as to not offend
and then i had this song just pop up on my iPod today on the way home from work... and i listened to the original and then almost crashed tryin to fing the cash remake.... cuz i know i had it toooooo... and that old conversation just popped into my head....
and i decided that i like both versions of this song... i used to listen to this song way, way back before internet.... when chatting was the biggest internet use... i'm talking during prodigy... and it has always made me cry... and today i heard it, and suddenly that conversation above popped into my head because i realized that the hs me would laugh at the current me... and then cry at the future she had in front of her... i am not at all happy where i am... but i know that who i am demands that i move beyond this... this whatever i have built for myself is not where i am going to end... i don't even know what that means right now, but here is where i will never be again... so yeah... sometimes life feels like this... but knowing it won't always is what keeps me going...
*blog*
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear my crown of shit
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
