2.25.2004
why, why, why is it 4 in the morning and i'm not tired and can't sleep? especially when i had fallen asleep on the couch for 20 min 2 hours ago before i moved into bed... obviously i was tired then... so why in the hell do i go into bed and then become wide awake? what the hell is going on in my head that won't let me rest? i think i'm being punished for something, i just don't know what... maybe i'm just too stressed... i know that i say i'm stressed, and i feel kinda like a lot has happened quickly lately, but what the fuck... this isn't worth it. it scares me that i can't sleep. i want normal hours again. i want to be able to lay down in my bed and drift off, relaxed and carefree like. i was sitting there thinking about sleeping, and i realized i was thinking so hard i was tense. so i forced myself to relax and i swear my whole body settled about 2 inches just because i actually relaxed everything for 2 seconds. this just isn't right. i didn't nap all day, i came home, had a busy evening, and should be tired. i'm going to be a wreck at work tomorrow. then i'm going to be exhausted tomorrow night and this whole cycle will start all over. you know, i actually like sleeping, maybe even more so than the next guy, i just don't know what is going on lately. for the last two months... i just don't know. of course, i don't believe i can really think my way out of this like i try to do everything else and maybe that is part of the problem... okay, i yawned... maybe i'm relaxing a little getting this out... let's try this again. sweet dreams
*blog*
posted by megs at 04:16
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