okay, so angel called today to ask my if i had my parents' SS numbers on an old FAFSA form because she needed them for hers, so i lugged out my old file-o-dex thingy and found my student loan folder from my freshman year of college when i still did things on paper. no dice. sorry angel. but then i was stuffing it all back in and another folder caught my eye. highschool writing. he he he. it was just a bunch of papers i had written junior and senior year in highschool. most aren't worth the paper they are written on. but then i found this one assignment and read through it. i almost peed my pants i was laughing so hard. it's horrible, i'll admit it right now, but anyone who knows me knows i can't rhyme worth a damn. the funniest part of this to me is the character descriptions. anyways, here it is...
The World's Greatest Fair
Early in June when schooling ends
And summer vacation comes as a Godsend,
When the little children stop learning their knowledge
And the graduated get ready for college,
All the kids, I know you agree,
throw down their books and yell "whoopee."
In just such summer many teens get together
And decide to take trips on account of the weather.
Many go to the beach to catch a bit of sun,
But for most skin cancer and wrinkles don't sound like fun.
Others go camping to get in tune with nature,
But as to living on their own most prove too immature.
Parties and trips are planned by all
Except for a few who are never on the ball,
And stuck with each other--everyone else has left--
Sitting all alone they became very bereft.
Then one day the World's Greatest Fair came to a town.
All the way from NY, New York, it came down
And stopped in Nashville, a little to the North.
The two day trip there would be well it's worth.
For the ride there was reserved a small bus
Equipped with a bathroom; it would serve its purpose
To take these high schoolers on their trip,
On their quest to enjoy some rides that had zip.
As all the students arrive at Sprayberry
Packed and ready; they are all very merry
And excited to finally be out doing something
To end their summer boredome and suffering.
As we climb aboard the business I will take a moment to tell
A little of each's character, though I know them not well.
The first was a woman equesterian; she is very good.
But sweet as she is, she is misunderstood
By those who know her because of her hyperactivity.
She is eagerly awaiting this fair festivity.
Her dark almond eyes and dark hair which is coarse
Reminds me a great deal of the looks of a horse.
She wears comfortable clothes with sandals to match
The laid back look that she has managed to catch
To counteract her energy and sprightliness.
On tiptoes she moves with a great deal of lightness,
Like a young colt pracing in a wet dewy meadow.
For this special occasion she packs a fancy kimono
And slings a bookbag onto her back.
She is a smart one who is right on track.
Her intelligence is clear; it was shown in all she did.
Clearly she has matured from being a little kid.
Her first time away this trip would be,
Alone without her parents. She would be free.
Sure of herself and sure of her path,
Sure of her strength, she could conquer Goliath.
Her true feelings she never does hide.
The purpose of her coming is to take a ride
On a carousel; no, the World's Greatest Carousel,
And so now on horsegirl I will no longer dwell.
There is one boy who, as far as I know,
Goes by the nickname of Little Bro.
He seems quiet and reserved; the "held in" type.
His attitutde rarely changes, he is never too hype.
To closest friends and people he's known for awhile,
He will often joke and flash a big smile
At his own silly thought which he only will mutter
To those sitting close, but then to no other.
Smart and witty, at the top of his class,
But best described as an intolerable ass.
Seen by some as stuck up and snobbish
And known by friends to be silly and boyish.
Likes to hang out and do stuff with friends,
But his capacity for fun very soon ends.
With nothing planned for this pretty summer,
He came to keep it from being a total bummer.
This being away from his parents, this was his one
Chance to be free and have some fun.
Riding crazy rides is his way to rebel
Against his parents, who I forgot to tell
Are divorced. But this doesn't bother him.
He is tall with dark hair and rather slim.
In truth, he still quite looks like a young boy.
I am sure this trip he will enjoy.
Then there are two lovers, a boy and a girl
Whose amorous ways make others want to hurl.
The better half of the two, the girl, is called Hazel.
Very creative and bright, she was once given an easel,
And the art she creates covers her walls.
A good soccer player, she likes to kick balls.
Tall with short hair and hazel eyes,
For her, growing up has been quite a surprise.
She does a bunch of thinking and is rather smart,
And all of her friends know her to be full of heart.
Her boyfriends she loves as her best friend;
She believes they have something that will never end.
This trip she sees as a really good chance
As time spent with friends; maybe a little romance.
Loves roller coasters and rides that go round;
Her favorite part is when they are upside down.
Eagerly awaiting the time we will depart,
This girl was bubbling--she was ready to start.
The Lover, too, was a smart young man,
And really he does the best that he can.
But when he's not thinking his heart tends to wander,
And his promises of faithfulness go hopelessly asunder.
When things go well he loves his girl the most,
But when things go bad his mind plays host
To a million other thoughts, fantasies and hopes.
He thinks just like a selfish guy, those big ugly dopes.
Thinking himself cool and also very cute,
He plays many people and things; a basketball he can shoot.
He is a well-rounded person; almost too perfect,
And the fact that he knows this is his one major defect.
He hopes on this trip to rebuild the spark;
As to what this really means, he is in the dark.
He can not and will not understand love
When himself is all he is thinking of.
He's taking this trip to end the relationship with a bang.
What happens after--he doesn't give a dang!
Then there is another boy, Karl is his name,
Spreading jokes and merriment is his game.
To all that he talk he brings forth a smile.
Recognizing his wit and intelligence only took a while.
At this fair he claims there will be
A super-surprise visit by his presidential nominee
Of choice, and so he's decided,
Since these two event so neatly coincided,
He will come along to join the parade.
Karl is a dresser; a fashion renegade.
He wears what he wants, whatever seems right;
Never dresses for the weather but is usually all right.
He wears glasses and has an interesting air.
I am sure that he will fit right in at the fair
With his strange appearance and stranger jokes.
He often causes disturbances and sometimes invokes
A feeling of confusion, though it is easy to see
With his opinions and ideas he is open and free.
A meeting with the future president is all he wanted,
And by the two day trip he remains undaunted.
The youngest on the trip is only a freshman,
And honestly I don't think the little girl quite fits in
With all these upperclassmen. It seems to me
She has a hidden motive for attending this party.
She is already fourteen but looks about twelve,
And into a description of her looks I can't delve.
For she is girlish cute, but plain, heaven knows,
And her one distinguishing feature is a very large nose.
she is quiet and polite, and seems very nice,
But it takes only a conversation to discover her vice.
For being a very little fish in a very big sea
She is wanting the best catch. She wants to be
Respected by her friends with a boyfriend who's the coolest;
To me her plan sounds hopelessly foolish.
But with kindness and sweetness I'm sure she'll succeed
In cathcing a guy that she doesn't want or really need.
She has a guy in mind, one on this very trip,
But any guy who falls for her must really be a dip.
Then there is a a band boy who is very intelligent,
And to many this comes as quite an astonishment.
He never does his work or pays attention in class,
All he does is cut up and act like an ass.
He likes to pick on people who are smaller than he
Because the way he sees himself is such an absurdity.
He has a huge ego and a very large head,
And he uses his wits and thoughts to hurt others instead
Of concentrating on activities for the common good.
The concept of helping others he never understood.
Dark-haired with sideburns and a little hair on his face,
He thinks he's God's gift to women in this earthly place.
Thankfully he fools none but himself and a few
Who have stuck around while the others withdrew.
But sometimes he knows, deep down in his heart,
That he'll have to grow up and stop playing this part.
And so as a last fling and a last fare-thee-well,
He told all his blood-sucking friends to go to hell.
Then came to this place to get on this bus,
To go to country music heaven where he will kick up a fuss.
Yellin' and singin' on the Fair's line dancin' floor,
Of band boy then I can say little more.
The last person on this trip is the leader of the pack.
He is the bus driver and will take no slack.
As we step on the bus he eyes us and says "hello,"
And as soon as we are seated he promptly takes control.
"Now this here's my bus and this how things goes,"
He wheezes and coughes out of a battered old nose.
"I know 'yall agoin to see the greatest fair
And 'yall are eager to go, bit it's aways till we get thar.
I ain't got no TV's and no new fangled radio,
But I've an idea to pass time as we go.
I want each of you to think up a whopper of a story
To share with the others. It could be about glory
Or accomplishment; whatever you choose!
And unless yours is the best this game you will lose.
The winner of this here game will get
An 'All of Their Expenses Paid for the Fair' ticket
That is good for a week. It will save 'yall some bucks.
So I'll judge the stories and I wish yous alls lucks."
And so we sit down and look at each other,
Noticing the smiles that we each try to smother.
Being the bravest, and dumbest no doubt,
Up jumps band boy and promptly blurts out,
"I've got the greatest story of all time dude,
So sit and listen, and don't be too rude."
Pulling out of the Sprayberry parking lot,
Their journey began with band boy's dry rot.
The End
*whew* that's long. congrats if you actually read it all the way through. i know it sucks and doesn't flow and there are probably a million typos, but i wasn't here to edit it or fix it. i typed it straight off the paper, not even bothering to make the red penned corrections my teacher scribbled all over. i like it better this way anyway. the flaws only make it funnier because i really was trying. like one of those old movies with the bad actors, bad lines and bad props that are always falling over.
in case you are wondering who is who in that little tale, horse girl was jinny, who i pretty acurately described. she was a year younger than me but loads of fun. lil bro would of course be matt, and i think i nailed him too. he was hilarious, if you could actually get him to talk to you. then we'd have me as hazel and clay as the lover. i'm sure i was a bit liberal with my own description, but once again, i think i have him figured out. this was after he had dumped me for a freshman then come crawling back later on. sucked uphill and down at the time. but it's funny to read about it now. karl was, well, karl. if you went to hs with me you'd know who i'm talking about. and then we have the freshman. the girl i got dumped for. maybe i was harsh here. but hey, i was the woman scorned, right? i'm allowed to be bitter. she did have a huge nose though. and it finishes up with band boy, who would be woody. score another one for megan.
i wonder if any of these people actually read this back then. i may have been honest, but honesty isn't very flattering it seems. if someone had written about me like this, i might have gotten a little mad. but some people tell me i'm too sensitive. i can dish it out but can't take it. i disagree completely with that. maybe i get mad about stuff, but it's probably because someone is right and i'm mad at myself. i always prefer to know just what people think of me. maybe i wouldn't have gotten mad... maybe i would have laughed. i know i'd laugh now. oh well, the whole point of this was that this was good for a laugh. and a huge procrastination helper.
