there's something about the beach. i'm sure it invokes a lot of different feelings for people. the whole experience of being on the beach, the overstimulation of all of your senses, its bound to make for some pretty powerful memories.
personally, i'm scared of the ocean. and standing on a beach with the sand, the sky and the endless miles of water make me feel very small and very alone. some people would stop me right there and say that i'm being negative or even cynical, not appreciating the beauty of it all. but that's where they are wrong. i stand there and i look out and i get completely overwhelmed. maybe i do see the sadder, slightly tarnished side of things, but to assume that's all i see is completely assinine. people are sad and they are alone, and seeing that big blue nothingness out in front of you can amplify that.
but looking out into the ocean makes me feel conflicted because i am also amazed and in awe at the incredible beauty and i start to see it reflected into my own life. it's hope and possibility all laid out before you. the wind stirs up emotions you didn't even realize you had and blows and twists you in all sorts of directions you didn't realize were there. the incredible sound of the crashing of the waves and the force with which they hit, only to lap at your feet moments later, washing away doubts and fears as you realize how inconsequential they really are. and you turn your back on it and walk away and the sand has this incredible way of sucking you back, always pulling on you in its reluctance to see you go. i go to the beach and it balances all these emotions for me and i always leave feeling more peaceful and satisfied. there's nothing i love more than walking alone on a beach.
i've said it before, and i'll say it again. i'm scared. i look out there, whether it's at the ocean or the future, and i'm scared. but i know that it's okay to be scared and to admit that i'm scared as long as i don't let it overwhelm me. i balance it all out and move forward, to where i really don't know. but if i keep moving and i keep staring out, i'm going to end up right where i belong. and i really believe that, contrary to my otherwise cynical nature.
and here are some loverly beach pictures... courtesy of my camera phone. generally the camera phone sucks, but it was so pretty and i had so much fun this day, just wandering around, i'm putting them up anyway...
i was on a pier of some sort when i took these. i don't know if it was the pier or just some pier. i think maybe the latter.
this is the grafitti park at venice beach. they had two big walls just completely covered. some of it was just basica tagging, but the time it must have taken for the larger pieces kind of blew me away. it kind of reminds me of those people who do sidewalk art. you know it isn't going to last, but then again that isn't really the point, is it?
i love sittin there watchin the water and just diggin my feet into the sand. generally i hate sand because it gets in all kinds of uncomfortable places and its like its falling off of you for days after your away from the beach. but it feels so nice and warm and squishy, then you dig your toes down in and it gets cooler. it's so nice.
yeah, picture of myself all by my lonesome. if your wondering what it is i'm doing, i'm smiling. like really smiling. cuz i'm really enjoying myself.
ummm... this is the santa monica pier. it looked really small and then just got hugemongous once i got right up next to it. and i walked all up and down it. the play park thingy wasn't really open or just no one was in it. but i walked all the way to the end and there was a guy on a guitar who played piano man and then bridge over troubled waters. i sat way up on the top of the building with my eyes closed and just let the wind play with my hair. it was awfully relaxing.
shot of the huge ass beach and some of the larger, gaudier hotels in santa monica that face the beach. i'm still amazed at the amount of beach between the buildings and the actual water. it was quite a hike.
as far being a clear picture, i guess my camera phone kinda sucks. it's looking down from a catwalk on the santa monica pier to where all the vendors are with their art and cheap sunglasses. maybe some people would consider this picture out of focus, but it reminds me of some impressionistic painting with the colors and lines all blurring together, so i put it up.
there's just something about an empty, smelly marta train after you've been cramped on a crowded plane for 4 hours. the plane had this antiseptic smell to it, mixed with people's perfumes, colognes and scented lotions. the trained smelled of all the sweaty, dirty, overcrowded people that cram onto each day. it also faintly smells like urine which is disconcerting. i couldn't decide which of the two was worse. at this point i just wanted to get home and be still for awhile.
there's something about the beach. i'm sure it invokes a lot of different feelings for people. the whole experience of being on the beach, the overstimulation of all of your senses, its bound to make for some pretty powerful memories.
