i've been trying to wrap my head around this for the last two days... help me out here.
we're sitting at trivia, and this woman walks up, hops over the little short wall, and asks for a lighter. she's wearing a nursing uniform and has a stethescope around her neck. after she lit her cigarette, she starting talking, loudly, about how she was a doctor. and then she asked us to watch her cigarette and walked inside. huh.
five minutes later she was back out with a glass of beer. she proceeds to harass huey about watching her cigarette. she says "i am so smart, because i'm a doctor, that i watched you and i know that you looked at that cigarette three times" which was bullshit because he'd actually forgotten about it and never once turned around. but my god, don't disagree with her. as we found out over the next hour, her favorite phrases were "you didn't let me finish" and "you're not listening" when in fact, she was the one who would let absolutely no one else talk.
she played a little game first and we went along because we thought it was funny. she wanted to learn everyone's name. there were six of us. it took her at least half an hour to get it right. over and over again. she kept getting it wrong. and if you tried to talk she started screaming at you. that's when it just got weird.
she mentioned at least a million times that she was a doctor. that she was very smart. that she owned a house. that she had a dog waiting for her at home that hadn't been out in 20 hours. that if she got arrested, she could bail herself out. and yet, she had only been in the country for 48 hours (moved from canada) and thought americans were all full of themselves. pshaw!
she wouldn't leave. she was there a long, long time. drinking our beer. getting offended. not listening. my friend peters just sat there in silence the whole time. he wasn't drinking anything at all. normally, he's one to start an argument. he was just trying to keep from cracking up the whole time. i kept looking at him and he'd crack this huge smile that would get me going, and then the woman would stop and say "now, you aren't listening."
it was just surreal. i've never had anyone impose on me or a group that i was in so blatantly and rudely in my entire life. and i'm amazed none of us told her to get lost and fuck off. we just sat there and put up with it for probably around three hours. it was a really weird night.
the biggest thing i'm worried about? she'll show up every week for trivia. that would suck big balls. i have my fingers crossed that we'll never hear from her again. she kept insisting that she was 25... i'm 25. there is no fucking way she was 25. she looked five years older than monica, and she's in her early 30's.
what a weird fuckin evening. especially considering how much i hate people i don't know...
and then on top of it, i get two of those kids coming to my door trying to sell magazines the next day. i'm being barraged by overly friendly, open people. and i hate that. they are telling me all about how they want to travel around the world, inviting themselves into my house... i was like woah, woah. no, i'm broke. i'll be nice, get you a paper towel and a coke cuz it's hot out here, but stay the hell outta my house. there's no room for crazy here. geez.
i think someone is playing a joke on me and sending these people to disrupt the otherwise normal flow of my life. if it's you, it's not funny.
